Daily Skiff

Bumper stickers are a wildly popular form of expression in America, but I view them as a drive-by offering of an unasked-for opinion.

See, a dynamic debate is sort of like a one-on-one fist fight for opinions, whereas bumper stickers are more like punching someone in the face and then zooming away in a golf cart.

Having strong convictions is great, but handing them out without a chance for dispute is both spineless and annoying.

Some of them aren't even opinions. Some of them are just unimportant proclamations about the academic superiority of the drivers' kids, or the fact that many things in Texas are larger in size.

Even more of them are general statements meant to humorously offend the driver behind them, which is even more obnoxious because now we've got potentially nice people reading insults off the cars of opinionated and abrasive drivers.

Sometimes, I agree with what's written on the stickers, but I've never felt the need to slap a proclamation on my car and effectively broadcast my thoughts to fellow traffic-enduring drivers. My hatred is not content-related; it's all encompassing, and no sticker escapes my wrath.

They don't even serve a purpose. I considered that it might be sort of like flying a flag and hoping that someone in agreement might see it. But even this explanation is limited. What does any driver gain from this agreement? A thumbs up through the passenger window and three seconds of camaraderie because you went to the same high school or voted for the same jerk?

What an intense connection.

It's annoying when people come up to you in real life and tell you opinions which you honestly could care less about. If I were interested in your mundane, unfunny thoughts about life, don't you think I would ask you questions?

Bumper stickers are even more infuriating because they're essentially the same thing, except you don't have the chance to scream obscenities at the offender.

Drivers who wear their hearts on their bumpers aren't eccentric, funny or cool. They are the motorists I pass by and secretly want to throw small pebbles at.

Naheil Qudah is a senior marketing major from Amman, Jordan.

Article Tools