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Marriage sacred, not right for everyone

Kathleen Thurber

Issue date: 2/15/07 Section: Opinion
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Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and to cherish ...

Sounds familiar, right? That's because for most of its history, the definition of marriage has been confined to a man and a woman. And by passing laws that allow same-sex marriage, states are redefining what a marriage was meant to be. For me, marriage is still defined as a promise between a man, a woman and God.

If someone is homosexual, that's really none of my business and does not affect my relationship with that individual. We all do things others don't approve of. While one's sexual preference is completely personal, I don't think marriage applies to all couples. You legally can't marry your sister or your cousin. You can't marry your best friend's husband or wife and, in most states, you can't marry someone of your same gender. I think it should stay that way.

If you are in a homosexual relationship, so be it. I'm not a scientist, I can't say for sure whether sexual preference is a choice or an innate characteristic. If you need to have a ceremony to declare your monogamous relationship, then go for it. Just don't do it through marriage. Save the formality of marriage ceremonies for their original intentions, a promise made before God to be faithful. Just as pastors of Christian churches should not practice homosexual lifestyles, the church itself should not promote homosexual lifestyles by condoning same-sex marriages.

God originally defined marriage as a relationship between a man and a woman. In Genesis, God has finished creating the world and brought forth each living creature for Adam to name. When you go back and look, it's actually an amazing story. Adam was alone on the Earth looking at animals, probably for several years seeing as Moses writes that when Adam's third child was born, he was well into his 100s. Then God made him the perfect companion - a woman.

Of all the romantic Valentine gestures you saw yesterday, I bet none was as authentic as that. After the woman was created, God said, "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:20).

One flesh. That's intense. And that's why it's supposed to be sacred.

The institution of marriage was made for a man and a woman. God defines and confines sexual behavior to that relationship.

In Leviticus 18:22, it says, "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." That's not out of context because the chapter is titled, "Unlawful sexual relations," and goes on to say you also shouldn't lie with an animal, your sister, your daughter-in-law and many others. These obviously aren't the only biblical laws, and it's not going to take me listing them all to figure out that we all break some of them - but that's the point.

After that couple in the Garden made a wrong turn, man has sinned. That's why there's grace. God knows we're incapable of living perfectly.

So it's not my place to judge what I see as a sin because I've got plenty of sins to deal with myself. Along with laying out rules, God also tells us that we will be judged as we judge others and that I should not point out the "speck" in your eye without first dealing with the "plank" in my own (Matthew 7:1-5).

But I also can't promote what I see as a sin.

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7 that if one doesn't want to confine marriage to a man and a woman, he should not marry. While judges have ruled the Constitution calls for a wall to exist between church and state, religious people can still vote in whatever manner they want. And while, legally, the state may at some point decide it's obligated to allow same-sex marriages, I cannot justify voting for such a change.

Advocates have argued homosexual couples deserve the same rights as heterosexual couples. If those rights include the state benefits that come with being married, you don't have to go through the ceremony in Texas to obtain them. Texas is one of the few states that recognizes common, or informal, marriage, and if you have committed to each other, are cohabitating and are declaring to others you're in a marriage relationship, you qualify as being married in this state.

I know it's not exactly the same, but that's the idea. Marriage is a sacred thing, and it's not our job to redefine it.

Kathleen Thurber is a junior news-editorial journalism major from Colorado Springs, Colo.
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